


What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor?

by ZephyrEden



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Gen, What am I doing with my life?, You're Welcome, siren au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 09:45:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4343732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZephyrEden/pseuds/ZephyrEden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my contribution to the Siren AU. You're welcome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor?

The ocean was calm tonight, settling into gentle ebbs now that the storm had passed. A ship passed along slowly as the water lapped eagerly at the sides with the disturbance to its passive motion. Sailors wandered the ship’s deck, laughing raucously while singing shanties with drunken stupor. Every one of them clutched a dark bottle in their fist, some holding more than that.

Their drunken haze would only add to his advantage. He stayed close the shore, waiting for the moment the pirates’ would lower the rowboat to scout out the island. He waited patiently, swimming in circles as he tried to bide his time. The fresh meal would be worth it.

After what seemed like hours, but was likely just a few minutes, he heard the telltale sound of the ropes loosening to lower the small boat into the water. He watched three sailors row clumsily towards land. Just a little closer, a little closer and they would fall victim to his spell. He began to fidget under the water, his thin limbs swishing around in edginess.

Slowly erupting from beneath the waves, a yellow glow enveloped the sailors while water droplets ran of his sharp sides and stuck in between the thin linings of his bricks. He slowly blinked his eye; the droplets that clung to his eyelashes glistened in his golden glow. He placed his black fingers on the edge of the boat, his grip light yet firm.

The sailors observed him wearily though still entranced by the sight of the triangle rising above the sea. They listened as he inhaled slowly, their minds trying to wrap around where the intake of breath could possibly be coming from. They were distracted as his song began.

_“What do you do with a drunken sailor,”_ the voice screeched, high-pitched and off-key. The sailors’ immediate reaction was to cover their ears, dropping the oars into the water in their haste. No matter how hard they pressed the unholy shriek couldn’t be drowned out.

He continued his song. _“Way hay and up she rises,”_ he crooned, his voice rising and falling in an awkward pitch. One sailor began screaming at the top of his lungs, trying to yell over the forsaken song that had dug its way into his head. Another began to cry, clutching his head tightly as it throbbed in time to the creature’s horrendous melody. The third was about to hurl himself into the sea, staring at the water with a crazed daze as he contemplated his life.

_“Shave his belly with a rusty razor.”_ He was about to continue the third verse when three voices cried out against him.

“Just kill us now! Have mercy and do not make us endure this fate!” It was the sailor who was practically out of the boat that had screamed, but the others soon joined with agreeing statements. “Please,” the one who dug his fingers into his scalp pleaded, “Anything is better than this hell!”

The siren gasped in mock offense, one of his hands leaving the side of the boat to press against the bowtie on his chest. “Well, though I’m tempted to show you true hell, I’ll take you up on your offer,” he said in a chipper voice. Now that his song had ended the sailors relaxed briefly before realizing in joint horror the mistake they had made. “Thanks for the sacrifice!”

His thin razor like fingers elongated and quickly ran through them, snuffing their lives out like the flames of the dimming candles on the ship. He retracted them back to his hand and watched as the blood absorbed into his being. He ran his hand over the bodies as he drew out the energy and souls that resided in the lifeless vessels, reveling in the power that coursed through him.

Now done with the bodies, he pushed the boat back toward the ship. He sank back down into the water as he waited for the encore to his performance. He watched the crew members attempt to bring the boat back up. After a few minutes of no response from the sailors who were sent out to scout, one of the pirates lowered a lantern down on a rope. The symphony of terrified screams was music to his nonexistent ears. He hummed slightly as he plunged back down into the sea, satisfied with his work.

“And they said Bill Cipher would be a terrible siren,” he scoffed, his yellow glow dimming as the depths swallowed him up.

**Author's Note:**

> Headcanon - Bill drinks too many margaritas and has a drunken karaoke session in an inter-dimensional bar. He was told by the manager that he was the worst singer that had ever come for karaoke and even a siren's power couldn't help him. He took this as a challenge. Those poor sailors...


End file.
